Cheaters and how to maintain trust in a relationship

From Cosmo, with jewelry by LeVian

Whenever you ask anyone what is the key to a healthy relationship, they always say the same thing: “You have to be honest with each other.” Even as this advice gets passed around from one generation to another, it doesn’t seem to be making relationships last any longer or making people cheat less often.


To be honest would mean to say to your significant other, “Honey, I’m attracted to one of my co-workers,” or “Sorry babe, I hit the strip club while you were visiting your mother.” It’s not honesty that we’re all looking for, it’s commitment. Sure you might be attracted to the cute guy at Starbucks you see every day, but because you’re deeply committed to someone you love, your heart and your head would never allow you to think of cheating as an option.


So how do you maintain commitment in a relationship? Every couple has a different story. One person might be more committed than the other, or both parties are equally committed at first but then begin to stray out of boredom, anger, stress or other excuses. No amount of “honesty” can really prevent it. Communication, on the other hand, is definitely the key. A lot of people who cheat complain that the other wasn’t meeting their needs. The person who was cheated on then questions why the other never told them these things because they were not aware.


If you follow the tabloids, you’ll know that there are currently two marriage scandals rocked by cheating husbands: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, and Fergie and Josh Duhamel. Unlike Gwennie and Chris, Fergie and Josh are still newlyweds who were both smiling ecstatically on tabloid covers after their wedding just a few months ago.


But now the gossip pages are reporting Josh has cheated on Fergie with numerous strippers. But Fergie has chosen to ignore the rumors and believe her husband, which creates another problem. Although trusting your spouse is important in a relationship, surely a healthy dose of skepticism wouldn’t hurt. It all goes back to working with the relationship and putting in equal work when it comes to communication. Not much can get accomplished if you throw your hands up in the air and wish for the best. At this point, who knows if Fergie and Josh can rekindle what they used to have.


What do you do to maintain trust in a relationship?


Love,
Engagement 101

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